The phrase “forgive and forget” might sound cliché, but if you’ve ever been deeply hurt, you know how difficult forgiveness can be. When someone wrongs you, it’s natural to hold onto anger and resentment. However, learning how to forgive and move on isn’t about excusing bad behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from emotional suffering.
Practicing mindfulness and forgiveness can help you release the past and reclaim your peace. Studies from Johns Hopkins Medicine show that forgiveness benefits mental and physical health, reducing stress, anxiety, and even lowering blood pressure. Meditation, in particular, increases emotional awareness, helping you navigate pain and resentment with greater clarity.
If you’re struggling with letting go of resentment, consider this: Holding onto anger doesn’t change the past—it only keeps you stuck in it. Let’s explore why forgiving someone who hurt you is one of the most powerful acts of self-care you can practice.
Unresolved Emotions Keep You Stuck: When you refuse to forgive, you remain emotionally tied to the past. Holding onto anger and hurt keeps the wound open, replaying the pain over and over again. The need for justice and vindication can fuel negative thoughts, creating a cycle that prevents healing.
Eva Mozes Kor, a Holocaust survivor who forgave the Nazi doctors who experimented on her. She didn’t excuse their actions but refused to let the past define her future. Her forgiveness was an act of personal freedom—a decision to move forward rather than remain trapped in resentment.
Mindfulness teaches us to observe emotions without becoming overwhelmed. A simple meditation for emotional healing can help break free from painful thought loops. The next time you feel bitterness rising, take a deep breath and ask yourself: “Is holding onto this anger serving me?”
Unforgiveness Can Impact Your Health: Did you know that resentment can cause real physical harm? Chronic anger and stress have been linked to high blood pressure, insomnia, weakened immune function, and even heart disease.
A study conducted by Hope College found that participants who practiced the power of forgiveness experienced lower blood pressure and heart rates than those who held grudges. Letting go of resentment and toxic relstionships isn’t just good for your mental health—it’s essential for your physical well-being.
How to Forgive and Reduce Stress
If you struggle with forgiveness, try meditation for emotional healing:
- Sit quietly and focus on your breath.
- Acknowledge any lingering resentment without judgment.
- Visualize releasing the anger as you exhale.
- Repeat a calming mantra, such as “I choose peace over pain.”
Practicing mindfulness and forgiveness in small, intentional moments can rewire your brain for emotional resilience and help you move on from past hurts.
Forgiveness Can Restore What Was Lost
Sometimes, the rift between two people grows larger than necessary, fueled by unresolved pain and bitterness. When left unaddressed, anger can create emotional distance and damage relationships beyond repair.
Consider Nelson Mandela, who chose forgiveness after spending 27 years in prison. Instead of seeking revenge, he embraced the power of forgiveness to heal his nation. His ability to let go of resentment and work toward reconciliation inspired the world.
When Reconciliation Isn’t Possible
Not every relationship can—or should—be restored. Forgiving someone who hurt you doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior. Instead, it’s about releasing the emotional burden so you can move forward.
One effective technique is loving-kindness meditation (Metta meditation), where you send positive intentions to yourself and others:
- May I be free from anger.
- May I find peace.
- May I release the past.
Even if rebuilding trust isn’t an option, practicing forgiveness allows you to take back your emotional freedom.
Is Forgiving and Forgetting Really Possible?
You may understand the benefits of forgiving others, but is forgiving and forgetting truly realistic? The answer is yes—but it takes time, patience, and practice.
Before learning how to forgive and move on, let’s explore why forgiveness is often so difficult.
It Feels Unfair
It’s natural to feel that forgiving someone who hurt you means letting them off the hook. We associate forgiveness with weakness, believing that those who harm us should suffer consequences.
However, forgiveness isn’t about them—it’s about you. Many legal systems use restorative justice programs, where victims and offenders engage in dialogue. Studies show that these programs lead to greater emotional closure, proving that acknowledging pain and practicing forgiveness can bring healing—even when justice is served.
- Try this mindful forgiveness exercise:
- Close your eyes and imagine your pain as a heavy stone.
- Picture yourself gently setting it down and walking away.
- Feel the relief of choosing peace over anger.
Holding on Can Feel Satisfying
As strange as it sounds, holding a grudge can feel empowering. Being the one who was wronged can bring attention, sympathy, and validation. Sometimes, there’s even an unconscious attachment to playing the victim—but at what cost?
Psychologists describe this as a negative identity cycle, where people define themselves by their pain rather than their potential. Choosing forgiveness is choosing freedom—not just from the past, but from the emotional chains that hold you back.
- A simple meditation for emotional healing can help shift your mindset from:
- “What they did to me” → “How I choose to respond.”
- If you’re tired of carrying anger, forgiveness is always an option.
- What Makes Forgiveness Easier?
If you’re ready to let go of resentment, these three key factors can help:
Seeing multiple perspectives
Some of the most inspiring stories of forgiveness come from people who have endured unimaginable pain. The Amish community in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania, publicly forgave the man who committed a school shooting in their town. Their decision wasn’t about forgetting—it was about choosing compassion over anger.
Recognizing the bigger picture
Forgiveness isn’t just about personal healing. In situations like divorce, forgiveness benefits not only you but also your children and loved ones.
Letting wisdom override emotions – Wisdom sees the long-term benefits of peace, even when emotions resist it. Sometimes, we must choose healing, even when it feels undeserved.
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a journey, not a single act. Some days, you’ll feel strong, and other days, the hurt may resurface. But with mindfulness, meditation, and self-compassion, you can break free from the past and embrace a lighter, healthier future.
Take a deep breath. Let go of the weight of resentment. Choose peace.
“Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.” – Jessica Lange
Let me know at Donna@DonnaPresents dot com in the comments below if you’ve tried any of the strategies and how they’ve worked for you.
Meditation is a habit that may come easily to some. I have been meditating for over five years, but there were many days I found myself slipping. But, these days, not so much, not since I completed the no-cost Action Habits Challenge by Connie Ragen Green, Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author, independent publisher, and serial entrepreneur. You can check it out here.
If you’re interested in revitalizing your life through meditation and would like to learn a virtually risk-free and cost-effective practice that people of all ages can do with a little patience and guidance and that will serve you for the rest of your life, I would love to connect with you. You can connect with me here: Donna@DonnaPresents.com
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I’m Donna SLam, and I love to blog about how meditation brings self-compassion, peace of mind, and clarity to my life and others by sharing tips and strategies on how to live a fulfilling and purposeful life. I enjoy championing others to lead a healthy and happy life through meditation, walking, self-development, and spending time with loved ones.
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